Tuesday, July 05, 2005


Someone once told me that kissing was more intimate than sex. Somebody else told me that it was more fun to do it with strangers. Yet another friend stated that kissing was demonic.
I can't claim to have kissed enough guys to have a preference, but i've always wondered- WHAT IS IT ABOUT KISSING? An old movie song says, as it is always quoted, "you must remember this/ a kiss is still a kiss."
My first real french kiss happened when i was in prep. I kid you not. I was all of five years old, I even remember the guy's name. Lord David something or other. He was my ARCH enemy. One day, he gave me a black eye. I retaliated by yanking out two fistfuls of hair and decorating his arm with bitemarks. The bruised and bloody kind.
The exasperated teacher marched us to the front of the classroom and ordered us to "kiss and make up." I remember staring in horror at my giggling clasmates. In my memory, his eyes turned red with evil mischief. Next thing i know he had stuck his tongue in my mouth. I was stunned for maybe three seconds, then I jumped on him, howling in outrage, grabbed his neck and started banging his head on the floor. I remember the smirk on his obnoxious little face.
WHAT is it about kissing? What is so intimate about two (or four if you want to get technical about it, or six if you count tongues.) pieces of flesh rubbing against each other? I mean, think about it. Why don't men kiss prostitutes, for example? Or why isn't hand slapping considered as intimate? And why do people close their eyes when they kiss? Why does kissing mean emotional stuff, too? Like when you kiss a child. Not that way, you pedophile.
Is it passed on to us culturally? Are we programmed to want it, by the romance novels and mushy movies and people on the street doing pda? But think about this: If porn for guys has maximum kissing and humping, why are romantic kissing scenes considered feminine entertainment?
And what about air kisses (beso beso)? It's like when you mean an acquaintance you do not want to know better, you make sure that your lips do not make contact. In Europe, men can kiss other men on the cheeks and make contact and not be considered gay. In alaska it's noses. I don't think it's historically a big thing in asian culture but, hey, i could be wrong.
Masculine kissing seems to invilve a lot of head twisting and grunting and groaning and saliva and sweat. Feminine kissing involves sighs, slow motion , no tongue and a lot of lip. Hmmm.
Of course there are variations. (read: freaks) Like the guy who stuck his tongue up my nose (i swear this is true) Or the guy who made all the girls he was planning to kiss take a mint right before he kissed them. (freak talaga)
The forehead kiss is a sign of affection, the cheek kiss is a sign of friendship, a kiss to the hand is a sign of respect, and the Chocolate Kiss is a restaurant in UP Diliman's Bahay ng Alumni.


Kevin! said...

Reminds me of a movie quote...

"No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."

Rhett Butler
Gone with the Wind (1939)

Maybe it's just me, but since it's all invasive and all (French kissing at least), allowing it shows a great amount of trust in the partner. There's closeness. There's intimacy.

It can be better than sex, coz it's easier to express intimacy with a kiss, the mouth and tongue more flexible; sex is just wham-bam ooh-ahh, one can get lost in the sexual intensity.

Jer said...

hmm. kissing? why the ado about kissing? so what if some gets some and some gets none? its just another arguably superficial, self-reminding activity that seem so enticing coz people we know do it. ah wait..is this angst you are reading? i rest my case. =)

tobie said...

Just pucker up and dive in.
If you find the right person to kiss with, you'll see what kissing really is.