Friday, July 22, 2005


"You look happy." His message had said.
She had bitten back a sarcastic laugh at those words, when she read them. It was late, almost dawn, in fact. She hadn't eaten in three days, aside from stolen bites of skyflakes and the occasional squid ball.
She was shaking now. Partly from the cold and partly from the bitter raging darkness inside her head, from the gnawing need inside her for something, anything to point out to her that she was human, to remind her that she was alive and not a block of ice slowly melting into a puddle, slowly evanescing, upwards, where it was quiet.
Her head hurt.
The room had cooled. It smelled green and sharp.
She would say her heart hurt if she was sure she still had one, but she wasn't, so she lifted her legs onto her chair and typed that way.
Her favorite song was playing over and over and over again.
She hated the dawn, hated the newborn smell of daylight touching the earth again, hated the pink streaks that sliced through the darkness to let the sunlight bleed in. She always tried to be asleep when the sky turned purple.
Today she was wide awake.
The crickets had stopped chirping. Well, fuck them.
She took a deep breath but it wouldn't go in.
The buzzing in her head was back again. But her eyes were dry. She pounded away at the keyboard, and stopped, wondered if the computer was more alive than she was.

No comments: